#MyInvisibleFight

“Everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  Be kind.  Always.”

Everyday I’m greeted with a reminder of a battle I’ve already fought and won.  It’s such a simple thing, something most people probably don’t give a second thought about as they do it. 

It’s simply having the ability to get out of the bed in the morning. 

There was a time I couldn’t do that, that one simple action that starts everyones day.  I lost the ability for well over a year.  The blankets felt heavy and consuming, and I couldn’t lift them off my body.  I would try to sit up, but my abdominal muscles would refuse to pull me up; even if I somehow found a way to sit up, then having the ability to rise off of the bed with weak legs was yet another impossible challenge.  I had to sleep with my cell phone, just so that I could call if I needed to get out of the bed. If for some reason the cell phone failed, I felt helpless.

I feel extreme gratitude for every ability I regain.  There are so many things I’m doing now, that were once impossible for me.  I don’t look at the world the same way that I did before losing everything.  I still have more battles to fight; but the battles I’ve won are met with an extreme joy.

The theme for Invisible Illness Awareness Week (September 28-October 4, 2015) this year is “My Invisible Fight.”  It’s an incredible relevant name to what chronic illness sufferers everywhere endure daily.  We are fighting, in various ways, against our bodies and what they’ve done to us.  Some chronic illness sufferers are fighting small battles, and others are literally fighting for their lives, but we are all fighting for something. 

Many people outside of the chronic illness community look at the lives of those with severe chronic illness and think by their lack of abilities and accomplishments they must be lazy and not trying hard enough.  That’s one of the biggest lies I’ve ever heard.  In reality, we are sometimes fighting the hardest for things that healthy people take for granted.  Things that are huge obstacles for our bodies seem so ordinary.  For instance, getting out of the bed in the morning, opening up jars, putting on clothes, styling our hair, or taking a shower without feeling like we’ve just run a marathon.  We aren’t lazy--we are warriors.  We are fighting against bodies that have betrayed us on a moment-by-moment basis.  Healthy people don’t understand the fight, because they don’t see the person in the midst of the war.  They don’t see the frustrations, the tears, or the disappointments.  They don’t experience the full out grief one feels when they can no longer do something that is seemingly small.  It’s heartbreaking.

We also fight for our emotional health.  When everything is taken from you, it’s easy to become bitter.  Yet, some of the most inspiring souls I know are those who have literally fought for their lives and yet not stopped smiling.  We fight for joy.  We fight for contentment.  We fight to stay grateful in the midst of searing pain and crushing disappointments.  We allow what could completely defeat us to become better, more compassionate and loving people.  We allow what could drive us away from God, to strengthen and solidify our faith. 

By the great grace of God, I’ve won battles that once defeated me.  I still have so many more battles to face, to conquer.  I still have great fatigue, and there are still abilities I have yet to reclaim.  Low chairs are my enemy and handicap accessible bathrooms, aren’t accessible to me.  I can’t go up stairs, and many of the things I can do, I do with great effort and sometimes pain.  I won’t let my body defeat me though, because everyday I start my day with the reminder of what I’ve already overcome.

I don’t know who all is reading this blog; maybe you are also fighting a chronic illness; or maybe you are completely healthy.  Maybe you are at a point where you can’t physically get out of the bed; if so, I want to remind you not to give up, that you are doing a good job, and that you are a warrior.  If you can physically get out of your bed in the morning--then please remember this blog and praise God for that blessing.