Brief Update: June 29

Not sure who originally said this quote, but found it on facebook and thought it was worth repeating:

"The deepest level of worship

 is praising God in spite of pain,

thanking God during a trial,

trusting Him when tempted,

surrendering while suffering,

and loving Him when He seems distant."

I will try to update more soon.  I've been meaning to for some time now, but it has been a couple of rough weeks.  My body continues to remind me that healing will not always be an uphill process, but that it will take time and there will unfortunately be setbacks along the way.  I try to be patient and take it a day at a time but at times it is frustrating.  I've also been struggling a lot with loneliness and isolation.  Chronic illness is a lonely world at times.  At least I have this little buddy to keep me company most days:

Please keep me in your prayers.  

~Stephanie~

Baby Steps

My sister and niece just came home for a visit recently.  It was a rare, longer than usual visit as they were able to stay for a total of 8 days.  What made it the most special was that London hit a lot of milestones while she was here.  It was amazing to see her go from wobbling standing up with help, to being able to stand up easily all on her own without assistance.  By the end of the week, she was walking with the help of others, and I know it will not be long before she can walk all on her own.  

One thing having a muscle disease teaches you is that all these milestones are a really big deal.  They are a huge blessing from God and not something to be taking for granted.  

Two years ago, I lost abilities left and right.  It seemed like every time I turned around I learned that something was becoming more difficult, or something was becoming impossible.  It's hard to be in your twenties and discover that you just can't do simple things anymore.  No amount of pushing myself helped; instead pushing myself usually sent me reeling and losing even more abilities.  It was a hard, scary, startling time in my life.  So many other things were going on at that time--I went through a painful and hurtful break up, my grandmother Emory passed away, my first cat passed on at the age of 19--and all that added to the fact that my body was failing me constantly, I felt like I spent 2011 in a state of grief.  It was probably the worst year of my life.  

I'm thankful today to say some of those abilities are coming back.  It's a slow, and at times painful, process but I am able to do a few things I was not able to do this time last year; and I'm able to do a lot more than I was in the summer of 2011.  For every ability I gain back though, there are still many abilities I try to reclaim only to fail trying.  It can be an exhausting process, and I could definitely relate to when London was first trying to stand on her own only to fall on her bottom--she'd hit the ground and cry in frustration!  I still have those "cry in frustration moments" and probably will for awhile.  That said, when I really think back to where I was two years ago I know things have definitely improved.  I may still have a long road ahead of me, but I have to remind myself to be thankful for small miracles.  I hope and pray that these small miracles just continue.

I will try to post again soon about some recent changes in my treatment.  It's a lot to explain and I don't have the time to post right now (dinner is almost ready!)  I would definitely appreciate your prayers in the meantime.  

"Look at me, I'm a cute little ladybug!"

Hi TOBY, let's be friends!!! :)