I've made a slight change in my URL to my blog. It is now:
http://countitalljoy3inamillion.blogspot.com/
Count it all joy for James 1:2-4!
May you have a blessed weekend!
Friday, March 13, 2015
Monday, March 09, 2015
Contentment and joy
Philippians 4:11-13 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
1 Timothy 6:6-7 But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
Contentment-
Rest or quietness of the mind in the present condition; satisfaction which holds the mind in peace, restraining complaint, opposition, or further desire, and often implying a moderate degree of happiness.
James 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
JOY, v.i. To rejoice; to be glad; to exult.
There are two words have been swimming around in my heart and head lately, and they are contentment and joy.
In the last few years, I've discovered a lot about these subjects. True contentment does not mean everything in your life is easy. True joy comes from a heart that continues to praise in the worst of circumstances.
About nine years ago, I thought the only way I could find joy and contentment was through great health. I was so tired of the physical suffering, but I was even more tired of the judgement and persecution I faced from my peers at the time. I was so desperate to be better, I pushed myself way harder than I was ready for. I ended up going way too fast in physical therapy, which caused widespread inflammation. A few years later, those areas of inflammation calcified and now much of my body is covered in hard rock calcium deposits. I had been foolish to think I was somehow in control of my healing. I realized that I could do what I could to make improvements, but the actual healing was not in my hands. Healing was and is always in God's hands.
After coming to this realization, I began to sincerely pray, not my will, but Your Will be done Lord. The years that followed those prayers became the most difficult of my life. The little health I had quickly slipped from my grasp, until I was nearly dependent on my mom for everything. I tried with all my might, but abilities just disappeared one after another. At first, I really struggled to stay content. I felt tortured. The physical pain was excruciating. My body was weak and the aching relentless. At times, I dealt with ulcers on my skin or extreme itching. I barely had the strength to survive, so I spent much of my time was isolated and lonely. The worst part of it all was that the medications had negatively impacted my mind where I struggled to read or write, two things I found comfort in. On top of that, writing was one of my few ways to connect with others, and the loss of it added to the isolation.
It was a dark, difficult time.
But slowly, God began to work on my heart. I began to be grateful for the blessings in the midst of the suffering. We are always blessed far beyond what we deserve, even when it doesn't seem like it. God provided in that time. His Love and Concern for me was evident in those times, because even during the worst times in my life, He has given me the greatest lessons. He's taught me so much in the darkest days. He taught me much about sacrifice through my mom's loving care for me. He taught me that healing doesn't always come in leaps and bounds, but sometimes in small but praiseworthy ways. He taught me much about gratefulness, because once you lose so much you realize how precious what you have is, and when you gain abilities back you have a thankfulness about them you never did before. He taught me that I can minister to, pray for, and encourage others, even if I'm bedridden and only have a cellphone as means to the outside world. He taught me much about faith and hope, because I had to cling to such things in the hours of desperation. And yes, He's taught me so much about contentment and joy.
My contentment and joy is not based on my circumstances. My contentment and joy is based on the One who saved me from sins and sees me in my suffering. God is more concerned for my spiritual maturity than He is for my physical health. I've grown to accept that, and I know this may not be what I wanted my life to look like at thirty; but I truly believe this is where God wants me at this phase of my life. I hope for more and continue to lean on God's leading as I confer with doctors and take medications....But I leave those tools in His hands. If He chooses complete healing, I will praise Him. If He chooses that I go backwards-though I pray and hope I do not-I will praise Him. If He chooses to give me partial healing, as He has in the past few years, I will praise Him. I will be content when I feel horrendous and when I feel marvelous. I'm not here to be healthy; I'm here to be Christ like.
The past few weeks, it has come to my attention that there are some who confuse my contentment, joy, and acceptance of my circumstances as giving up, and being unwilling to try. People who believe that clearly don't know me, or the many things I've done to try to improve my situation. Honestly, it gets so frustrating to be persecuted for something you can't control, to be judged by the healthy because you are not as fortunate as they are. It hurts. It hurts doubly when it comes from a source that professes to be a Christian and is called to care for you. I've spent many hours contemplating "why Lord?"... Am I not doing what You have called me to do? Depending on You no matter what? Learning to rest and be content in these circumstances? Why must I fight persecution on top of what I'm already dealing with?"
And last night out of the blue, the Holy Spirit reminds me
"You are not here to please them. No matter who they are, you are not here to please them. You are called to please your Heavenly Father above all else. And learning to be content and joyful in the worst of times is what you are called to do. When you are persecuted for my sake, you share in the sufferings of Christ. You are mine. You are loved. Don't let others steal or dampen the contentment and joy you have found. It is precious. It is rare."
And there has been a unique peace in my heart ever since.
I still hope and pray that one day God will choose to heal me completely, but if He chooses to keep a thorn within my side for the rest of my life, I will still choose to be content. I will still choose to praise Him. I'm not resigning myself to a life of sicknesses by doing so; I'm simply obeying the Master's divine plan for my life.
His Will be done.
Not mine.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Here is a song that has really encouraged me lately-- I hope it encourages someone else.
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