Thoughts on Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! 

I have a confession to make. Mother's Day feels like a day of happiness and sadness to me this year. 

Happiness, because I'm so very thankful for my mom. It takes a special kind of woman to not just be a mom but a caregiver. I know I would most likely have succumbed to my illness years ago had it not been for her. She was the one who knew something was wrong, before anyone else, and fought for answers. She's sacrificed so much for me and I'm so thankful for that. She's faced so many battles and still remains gracious and loving. She's also a wonderful "grandma" to my fur kids, which leads me to the other reason I'm happy on Mother's Day. I may not have human children, but I have two of the most beautiful cat children in the world. Ariella and Toby bless my life on daily basis and it is an honor to be their "cat mom."

Yet, there's still a part of Mother's Day that hurts. 

When you have a chronic illness, you feel left out of many things in life. I've felt especially isolated lately, which makes days like this even more difficult. It's even harder when you feel left behind in an area that you deeply desire for your life. For as long as I can remember, the deepest part of me has always wanted to be a wife and a mother. Other desires and interests would change, but that never wavered. More than that, I've felt like God put a calling on my heart for that, which makes it even more confusing. If that's His purpose for my life, why does it seem so impossible?

Then I think of Ruth, who traveled to a foreign land with her mother-in-law out of obedience, and I wonder if she thought her days as a wife were over, her chances to be a mother gone. I'm sure in some ways, it seemed impossible. 

I think of Abraham and Sarah who thought it was so impossible to have children at their age that they tried to rush ahead of God. Yet God's plans still prevailed despite their impatience, and Issac was born in their old age. 

So I remind myself today, that God is still able. God is still good. God will be good if He blesses me with my own family one day. God will be good if He does not. In the meantime, I thank Him for what I have now and pray if a family is in His ultimate Will for my life, He is preparing that road for me. I pray He molds my heart for the man I'm supposed to marry, and shapes his heart for me. I pray for wisdom and discernment in all things, and be faithful in the tasks in my life now.

 

I've read so many great devotions this week on Morher's Day, some I could relate to and some I could not, but the one below really touched my heart. It reminded me how blessed I was to have spent so many years investing in kids through children's ministry. I pray I'll get strong enough to do that again, and it will feel like an even bigger gift if I am ever strong enough to return! In the meantime, I am privileged to be an auntie to London and Paul and I pray that God will use me to positively influence their lives! 

So ladies, no matter what you are facing today, whether you have children or not, know God can still use your maternal instincts- your wisdom, your compassion, your grace- to bless those around you and change the world for the better! I pray you feel blessed today, no matter what your circumstance. 

A special Mother's Day devotion from Joni Eareckson Tada:

Mother's Day

"'Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,' says the Lord." 

Isaiah 54:1

For years my husband Ken and I tried to conceive a child. I knew of other spinal-cord-injured women who gave birth to children, and was convinced I could do the same. I planned to turn my art studio into a baby nursery, and my wheelchair into a "stroller." I could even envision holding my baby in a "kangaroo carrier" on my wheelchair. But it wasn't to be. After many tests at an infertility clinic, Ken and I realized we would not be able to have a child.

At first, I was devastated. But then we realized we already had a family. A worldwide family. We began to rejoice anew over the thousands of spiritual children -- especially children with disabilities -- that my story had touched over the years. Ken and I began to pray in a deeper, more specific way for these young people. Almost over night God took away the pain and emptiness of my barren womb. I almost plastered an Isaiah 54:1 bumper sticker on the back of my wheelchair!

There's a reason for every woman to celebrate Mother's Day -- even those who, like me, do not have children. Any woman, whether single or widowed, can enjoy rich relationships with boys and girls in their neighborhoods, churches, and extended family. If you have never given birth to a child, ask God to show you a young person whose life you can spiritually nurture -- it'll be a reason to "burst into song and shout for joy." Look up Child Evangelism Fellowship at www.cefonline.com to find ways you can share Christ with young people.

Lord God, I'm glad You take delight when we provide spiritual 'parenting' to children in our sphere of influence. Use me to bring more boys and girls into Your kingdom!

Blessings,

Joni and Friends

Pearls of Great Price

Copyright © 2006

by Joni Eareckson Tada

Published in print by Zondervan, 

New URL

I've made a slight change in my URL to my blog. It is now:

http://countitalljoy3inamillion.blogspot.com/

Count it all joy for James 1:2-4!

May you have a blessed weekend!

Contentment and joy

Philippians 4:11-13 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

1 Timothy 6:6-7 But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 

Contentment-

Rest or quietness of the mind in the present condition; satisfaction which holds the mind in peace, restraining complaint, opposition, or further desire, and often implying a moderate degree of happiness.

James 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 

JOY, v.i. To rejoice; to be glad; to exult.

There are two words have been swimming around in my heart and head lately, and they are contentment and joy. 

In the last few years, I've discovered a lot about these subjects. True contentment does not mean everything in your life is easy. True joy comes from a heart that continues to praise in the worst of circumstances. 

About nine years ago, I thought the only way I could find joy and contentment was through great health. I was so tired of the physical suffering, but I was even more tired of the judgement and persecution I faced from my peers at the time. I was so desperate to be better, I pushed myself way harder than I was ready for. I ended up going way too fast in physical therapy, which caused widespread inflammation. A few years later, those areas of inflammation calcified and now much of my body is covered in hard rock calcium deposits. I had been foolish to think I was somehow in control of my healing. I realized that I could do what I could to make improvements, but the actual healing was not in my hands. Healing was and is always in God's hands. 

After coming to this realization, I began to sincerely pray, not my will, but Your Will be done Lord. The years that followed those prayers became the most difficult of my life. The little health I had quickly slipped from my grasp, until I was nearly dependent on my mom for everything. I tried with all my might, but abilities just disappeared one after another. At first, I really struggled to stay content. I felt tortured. The physical pain was excruciating. My body was weak and the aching relentless. At times, I dealt with ulcers on my skin or extreme itching. I barely had the strength to survive, so I spent much of my time was isolated and lonely. The worst part of it all was that the medications had negatively impacted my mind where I struggled to read or write, two things I found comfort in. On top of that, writing was one of my few ways to connect with others, and the loss of it added to the isolation. 

It was a dark, difficult time. 

But slowly, God began to work on my heart. I began to be grateful for the blessings in the midst of the suffering. We are always blessed far beyond what we deserve, even when it doesn't seem like it. God provided in that time. His Love and Concern for me was evident in those times, because even during the worst times in my life, He has given me the greatest lessons. He's taught me so much in the darkest days. He taught me much about sacrifice through my mom's loving care for me. He taught me that healing doesn't always come in leaps and bounds, but sometimes in small but praiseworthy ways. He taught me much about gratefulness, because once you lose so much you realize how precious what you have is, and when you gain abilities back you have a thankfulness about them you never did before. He taught me that I can minister to, pray for, and encourage others, even if I'm bedridden and only have a cellphone as means to the outside world. He taught me much about faith and hope, because I had to cling to such things in the hours of desperation. And yes, He's taught me so much about contentment and joy. 

My contentment and joy is not based on my circumstances. My contentment and joy is based on the One who saved me from sins and sees me in my suffering. God is more concerned for my spiritual maturity than He is for my physical health. I've grown to accept that, and I know this may not be what I wanted my life to look like at thirty; but I truly believe this is where God wants me at this phase of my life. I hope for more and continue to lean on God's leading as I confer with doctors and take medications....But I leave those tools in His hands. If He chooses complete healing, I will praise Him. If He chooses that I go backwards-though I pray and hope I do not-I will praise Him. If He chooses to give me partial healing, as He has in the past few years, I will praise Him. I will be content when I feel horrendous and when I feel marvelous. I'm not here to be healthy; I'm here to be Christ like. 

The past few weeks, it has come to my attention that there are some who confuse my contentment, joy, and acceptance of my circumstances as giving up, and being unwilling to try. People who believe that clearly don't know me, or the many things I've done to try to improve my situation. Honestly, it gets so frustrating to be persecuted for something you can't control, to be judged by the healthy because you are not as fortunate as they are. It hurts. It hurts doubly when it comes from a source that professes to be a Christian and is called to care for you. I've spent many hours contemplating "why Lord?"... Am I not doing what You have called me to do? Depending on You no matter what? Learning to rest and be content in these circumstances? Why must I fight persecution on top of what I'm already dealing with?"

And last night out of the blue, the Holy Spirit reminds me 

"You are not here to please them. No matter who they are, you are not here to please them. You are called to please your Heavenly Father above all else. And learning to be content and joyful in the worst of times is what you are called to do. When you are persecuted for my sake, you share in the sufferings of Christ. You are mine. You are loved. Don't let others steal or dampen the contentment and joy you have found. It is precious. It is rare."

And there has been a unique peace in my heart ever since. 

I still hope and pray that one day God will choose to heal me completely, but if He chooses to keep a thorn within my side for the rest of my life, I will still choose to be content. I will still choose to praise Him. I'm not resigning myself to a life of sicknesses by doing so; I'm simply obeying the Master's divine plan for my life. 

His Will be done. 

Not mine. 

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

Here is a song that has really encouraged me lately-- I hope it encourages someone else. 

http://youtu.be/2VNbeYCxtEw

What is it like to be rare: Rare Disease Day 2015

Rare disease day was established in Europe in 2008, and first celebrated in the US the following year. This day is sponsored by EURORDIS (the European rare disease organization) and by NORD (National Organization of Rare Diseases, USA). The goal of both organizations is to "support policies and practices that promote innovative research and the development of new treatments, provide access to the highest standard of diagnosis and care, encourage more patient-centered health care systems, offer a higher quality of information, and help break the isolation of the people living with rare diseases." ***

Some people may think it is odd to have a whole day for rare diseases, believing that fighting a rare disease is not that much different than fighting a more common disease. While suffering is still suffering, regardless of how common a disease is, after over twenty years of a rare illness I can tell you that there are definitely special challenges that come with living with a rare disease. 

The first challenge is just getting a diagnosis. When you have a rare disease, most doctors you run into have little to no experience with your particular illness. If they don't know anything about your disease, they don't recognize the symptoms or even know how to look for it and therefore just getting a diagnosis is tough. 

I went at least two years without a diagnosis. My first doctor ignored my complaints, while my next doctor felt there was something wrong but didn't know what. I went to her for quite awhile until finally my mom asked her to watch me rise from the floor. Because my muscles were so weak, I had to compensate and get up in a really strange way. It was much more difficult than what a nine year old should do. After I did that, it suddenly occurred to her what I might have, as she had encountered a patient with a similar disease before. She then knew what type of doctor to refer me to for a diagnosis, but had she not been aware of my illness at all, I might have spent many more years searching for help. Had my illness been more common, I might have gotten an earlier diagnosis, and therefore earlier treatment, and earlier treatment is believed to have higher remission rates. We will never know how much the lack of diagnosis in the early days played into the severity of my illness. 

The complications don't end with the diagnosis. There are still many problems you encounter in the medical field when having a rare disease. It's hard to find a doctor who is well informed enough to take your case. Some doctors won't even see you, and others don't have the expertise but attempt to treat you anyway, which in the long run can make things much worse! If you do find a doctor with a lot of experience treating your disease, they may only have a few treatment options available to give you.  Less people affected means less money for research. Less money for research means less research studies. Even when you do find the funds, there are less people to research on, which means less data to base treatment plans on. All medicine is more or less experimental, but having a rare disease greatly enhances the guessing game. On top of that, the same disease may vary greatly in two differently individuals, making it even harder to decipher a successful therapy. 

As if the challenges we face in getting the correct treatment aren't enough, it doesn't end there. One of the hardest things about having a rare disease is the lack of awareness in the day to day life. While I know many people who fight stigmas and ignorance about even common diseases, at least other people have heard of those illnesses! There are times I've told people I have "Dermatomyositis" and felt as if they believed I just made it up because they've never heard of it. The name of my illness is actually very explanatory of my illness--"derma" means skin, "myo" means muscle, and "itis" means sickness. It makes complete sense why a disease that affects mostly skin and muscle tissue would be named dermatomyositis but without breaking it down, most people don't really know what it means, and therefore wrongly drawn the conclusion that I somehow made it up! (FYI, many important things in your body, like major organs, consist of muscle and skin cells! Which means much of my body can be affected by this illness!)

Another thing I've noticed is that people seem to believe if it was really bad, they'd hear about it more. I can't even count the times I've tried to tell people more about it just to get the feeling that they believe I am exaggerating. Even the "easiest" case of dermatomyositis can be tough; but having a chronic and severe form is downright scary sometimes. At my worst, things literally got harder and harder to do until I eventually lost a great majority of my abilities. I'm not talking about great athletic feats here; I'm talking about simple things like getting in and out of the bed or rising from a chair. By the grace of God I am getting stronger, but there are still daily tasks I'm struggling to relearn that most people are able to do without even trying. Just because dermatomyositis isn't well known, doesn't mean it's easy; it just means it is rare! 

So why is it important to support rare diseases? It is important because people fighting rare diseases are important and valuable to God.  Our suffering is still suffering, regardless of how many other people in this world happen to share a diagnosis, and we need and appreciate those who choose to share the burden with us. We are called to love and support one another, but many people don't  take the time to slow down and care for the sick. One of the hardest things about any chronic illness is the isolation one feels; having a rare chronic illness makes it all the more isolating. So next time you have an opportunity to meet someone "rare," take the time to learn about the disease they are fighting. It may not seem like a lot, but it means more than you know!

***http://rarediseaseday.us/about/history/

Happy 35 years to Joni & Friends!

I cannot remember a time that I did not look up to and admire Joni Eareckson Tada.  Growing up with a disabling illness, I found it hard to find role models in the public eye who really encouraged me. When healthy normal people talked about pain and suffering, the words just seemed to be empty; but when Joni spoke of pain and suffering, the words mattered. Our situations may be drastically different in many ways, but I know she is accustomed to pain and suffering, and that has made a huge difference in my life.

As I grew older, I became more and more aware of Joni's spiritual depth. Her daily dependence on the Lord is evident in everything she does and I know firsthand that God uses her words to encourage and inspire. I cannot even count how many times I've needed to hear just what was written in the daily Joni & Friends devotion, or how many times her books have spoken truth into my life at a time when it was desperately needed.  

I've always admired and believed in Joni and her ministry, but a few years ago God used circumstances in my life to make the magnitude of her Wheels to the World ministry more real to me. When my disease took a turn for the worse, I had less and less abilities and started to have to rely on accessibility devices more and more. I fought it at first, but eventually I realized they had to be used to make life easier for me. I have to admit, at first I didn't handle it too well; I mean, what 26 year old really wants to have a toilet riser and still have to have help up when they are finished? It was pretty discouraging to say the least. Every time I saw my toilet riser, ramp, shower handrails, wheelchair, etc, I felt a little pang of bitterness. They were ever present reminders that I was really sick and really weak. I felt like they were screaming at me, telling me all the things I couldn't do.

Then one day I was watching a Joni and Friends video on the Wheels of the World ministry and it hit me-- what if all those accessibility devices I needed weren't there? What if my family couldn't afford them or if I lived in a country where they were not readily available? How much more difficult would my life be? It was a humbling experience to say the least. I suddenly looked at all of those things a lot differently. I no longer took them for granted and started to try to think of them as a really strange blessing. Don't get me wrong, if the day comes when I do not need them, I will be overjoyed; but in the meantime I am thankful they help me and thankful to have them as I slowly gain my strength back. That day God also placed on my heart to donate to the Wheels of the World ministry on a monthly basis.  It's not a lot, but it's enough that one person will receive a wheelchair each year. It amazes me how God can take a small gift on my part and literally change someone's life. Giving someone with a disability a wheelchair is so much more than just giving them a chair; it's giving them freedom to go out of their house again. This may mean the opportunity to go to church or school or to just see the outside world. It means they have opportunities that they never had before; and with Joni and friends, they are also given a Bible and hear the gospel, which means they then have the best opportunity of all - to accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and secure an eternal destination.

I'm so thankful for Joni and friends and the many aspects of the ministry.  It changes lives!

Read more about this ministry at:

www.joniandfriends.org

#JAF35Years